february
02-02-2025
oh, boy. birthday's coming up eventually. soon but not soon considering it'll be end of the month. or is it march 1st? i always get confused since feb 28 is before and march 1 is after. i guess march 1 would be officially 25 for me while feb 28 is just still in my birth month.

anyway! did my hair.

can't quite fix my face, but oh well! at least it's down now. next thing is getting my next plug (for my ear) sorted out. see if i need to get the 5g or not.

i'm planning to check the current one i have in. see if the 4 fits, but it might not... again. i'm getting a little impatient with these last few stretches to 2g because there were times where i could've sized up, but didn't. i'd be there already if i had T__T. i wanna get these skull charms soon, too.



refreshing day
01-28-2025
i actually shaved my hair like i was supposed to. i'd cut it with scissors, like, last year. was too lazy to finish it. got it done, though! this was the first time i've successfully cut it without it taking much effort on my part. i find that both funny and suspicious. suppose being away from the constant stress helps.


i look like an idiot, but i am clean and a big important part of my hair is done. i do need to sort out the rest of it, but i'm a lazy fuck still, so i'm not in a rush. also pretty sure the mirror was dirty which is why my hair looks like that. i keep finding silvers all over my head, so it ain't that inaccurate lmao.
i've been wearing my sister's hat since i was sick because my head was cold and it was all snowy. she failed to tell me that it makes me look like some sort of animal (sheep or something). she said it was cute tho.
one last thing i need to do is size up my piercing (does it count as a piercing if it's stretched?). i think i need a 5g now since the 4 wouldn't go in yet.



dry spell
01-08-2025
starting the new year off with a reverse bang (yes, i know it's the eighth). there are no ideas in my brain for my sites. normally, i'd have a lot i want to do, but nothing's calling to me at the moment. i did have some ideas written down, but i'm way too lazy to dig into my bag and get my notebook out.

how are you doing, though? i hope 2025 is already treating you better than last year.



how do i disable my keyboard
12-27-2024
so so back on my actual laptop. i like the chromebook, but i missed having windows. when i was using the chromebook, i was thinking about how i prefer the 11.? size of it. using this one again is solidifying that point. 14 inches is too big for me. i do not need a laptop this large.

regardless, i have it and it has what i need on it. it's pretty busted and dirty, though. need to clean it up and replace the keyboard eventually along with the battery. for now, i needa figure out how to disable the keyboard so i can put my bluetooth keyboard on top of that space without any issues.



a very strange christmas
12-25-2024
a week ago, i wouldn't've thought i would be doing anything besides suffering greatly on christmas day. things have been odd as of late. awful but there have been some lucky turnouts. the horrific 'house' i unfortunately came to know as the place i lived is not surrounding me this christmas. i'm not ecstatic just yet, but i'm adjusting. figuring things out.

merry christmas, i suppose.



deviantart veteran suffers immensely
12-21-2024
my indigestion knows no bounds. nearly every time i eat i'm in crazy pain. ugh. anyway, shout out to all my cockblocked artists who used to be pretty good at drawing but have had art block 90% of the past however many years and can barely draw one thing without getting burnt out. i feel you. way too real.

i found someone called Emma artly on Youtube earlier tonight and i'm feeling so inspired to draw, but i know this feeling often ends in frustration. doesn't mean i won't give it a go, but i won't be too upset if i produce literally nothing.



practicing editing still
12-18-2024



bear's first chromebook
12-18-2024
i sure as hell hate spending my saving money because of this power situation (money gods grace me), but my ideapad is a piece of crap because of its battery. needs a brand new one to hold any charge for longer than three seconds (and it's huge at 14 inches like bruh). so, i bought a chromebook.

i'm lucky as life to have found it. it was four hours after the seller listed it when i saw this piece. went back and forth with myself over getting it because i wanted a solar panel that was similarly priced, but i ended up biting the bullet and getting it. great decision. i can finally work reliably and replenish the money i've spent.

i'm not familar with chromebooks at all, but i'm starting to get used to it.



this god damn blackout
12-10-2024
it hurts severely!!! i thought it'd get handled quickly, but it's been, like, forever and the company still hasn't visited. i was told one of their trucks was in town but they were hitting up shops instead of residential areas. wtf T__T )

cute leon to soothe my troubles

anyway, i have a power station now, but my laptop is gross and i really want a new one. a little chromebook with a smaller battery and usb c charging. sighh.



new lock n home
11-16-2024
sooo, there's an ongoing blackout at my place for whatever reason. i think other people were out as well, but things are coming back on bit by bit. it was so sudden, none of us suspected it. the power company is clogged or at least they said they were having a high call volume, like, two days ago. what a pain. i'm telling myself it'll be sorted out ASAP and we'll have our stuff on before long.

anywho, i changed my lockscreen and home screen on my phone because i was bored. the white bg and cute pngs theme is always a winner in my book.


i hope this post went over smoothly. i'm doing this from my ipad and everything's buggy as shit. i don't feel like paying for a text editor. might do my stuff in google docs if i keep this up.



idk where to put this
11-10-2024
but i made this leon tamagotchi thing inspired by photocards and i thought it was cute.

i'm not a, like, fan of any specific kpop groups enough to do the photocard thing, but i needa start blinging out pics of my favourite characters tbh. it was pretty fun. ended up turning it into a plumbob in my custom sims loading screen. gotta figure out how to fix the bg's size, but it's nearly complete. uh, photopea rocks. shout out to photopea and davinci resolve. i love using DR for anything but video editing. such as making images or gifs. which i just learned you could do. and photopea's really good for that garbage bevel and emboss.

if you like the gif, it's totally free to use. if you include it on a cute page, pls consider tagging/mentioning me somehow or linking it to me. moreso because i wanna see how it was used 'cause that's cool. i may or may not be addicted to viewing layouts. not at all required though.



cool blog tool
11-07-2024
was searching for somewhere to take my blogging so i won't have to do so much manual work every time i wanna update (it's fun sometimes but not always) and i somehow just noticed that someone made one that works for neocities users.

trigger warning: major lack of commas and horrible nonsense


i didn't rly know what to do with my theme, so i did this simple one. thought it was cute. i ended up revamping my games blog instead of using it because i was too lazy to do the actual theme i ended up settling on (don't ask how my brain and laziness works), but i think it's very cool. cute style. didn't try the zonelets type because i was way too drawn to the tumblr sidebar one.

most of the blogs i see are that centered long strip which is not my favourite, so this one is nice to see. i think i'm gonna end up using it later on because i do have other blogs i want here. only thing i dislike is the inability to do much customizing with the images you put in in the editor that is provided by the tool. like, i wanna resize and have my images wrapped with text. or center them. if you've seen all my other posts, you know how i do my setups. maybe i'm just using the editor wrong, idrk. but you can upload html files which would help with that. i'm just lazy.

here's the creator's site tyy



grampa likes roblox
11-01-2024
yeah, that's right. i like the game. or actually i like making outfits. the games are okay, but i'm not big on multiplayer so the scope is a little limited.


tried a little outfit showcase test. i like how it turned out. if i'm not horrible at this, i might try to make more and use skin variations for the outfits. idk. could be fun.



why ugc
10-30-2024
spent a little bit figuring out how to make a simple ugc accessory (sandwich cause i love modeling and doodling food idk) only to find out that it costs 750 robux to upload it. i don't got that kinda money to be casually dropping on uploads bruh.


least it turned out okay. :o|



idk something here
10-28-2024
uh i just finished another blender video. i thought it was sorta fun. recording voiceovers is not fun, however. i am bad at it. and my audio quality is garbage. buuut i do kinda wanna do more. click the card if you wanna check it out.



re2
10-22-2024
got the re2 remake on sale ($10) like last week and i've been playing it which is a huge feat cause i love survival horror games and horror movies, but i'm a huge baby so i hate playing them myself.

unfortunately, i can't even post any screenshots yet because i can't take any screenshots. i'm not sure what's wrong with my game, but when i press the steam screenshot key nothing happens.

looked it up but no dice. i tried changing the key too. i am very sad about this because taking screenshots is one of my favourite things to do.

hope i can figure it out eventually. if i don't acquire low res pictures of leon i will riot.



done it
10-18-2024
spent since the 15th working on a site. it was fun. thought i'd do something other than a light theme since both this one and smugbear are lite. this feels good on my eyes.



so bored
10-15-2024

i wanna code a new page, but i'm not getting any solid ideas.. it's been a while.

guess i've gotta look at a ton of inspiration again.

there's also blender stuff i wanna do. i needa make a list.



failure of cinema
10-12-2024
i keep trying to watch this stupid fucking horror(?) movie about who knows what, but there's something within the movie that is straight up distracting me from it in a very backwards way.



you'd think i'd want to glue my eyeballs to it, but there is something so wrong with me. i just need a break, man. back tf up, bruh. i originally clicked on it because of the blurb and little clip of the beginning, but got damn. did not expect the character. in the words of uncle jesse: have mercy.

update: get me outta here, girl ..・ヾ(。＞ ＜)シ dear, god what is goin' on??? (this is totally vague on purpose. i think i'm gonna post a little review of this when i'm done.)



blender stuffs
10-09-2024
i recorded a short blender thing. it's jank but was fun, i guess. check it out on YT, bro.



if anyone's wondering
09-18-2024
pink heart flowers gifwhy i haven't done anything here for another week: i've been working on this minecraft food mod the entire time :oP

it has been rather fun and i've done a decent amount of pixeling. got quite a few little recipes done. it ain't quite filled out, but i'm satisfied with it for now.

i've also done two little CITs for practice. been a while since i last did any. might work on a CIT pack when i get the insatiable pull to finish it like the food mod.



what am i doing in my sleep?
09-07-2024
woke up with my earbud out. that's not too unusual. i turned and came face to face with the o-ring of my plug. oh no.

next, i find my plug itself sitting there like nothing's wrong. this is the first time i've had that happen. i had said for the past few days that my plug felt loose. guess i was right.

time to size up. think i'm gonna let this one sit for at least another day just in case my ear started to shrink or somethin'. on to a 6. i have a 7 in right now since i wanted to be careful with the last few runs. i'm kinda excited. gettin' closer to the end. probably. i don't know if i want to go any bigger.

a 2 has been my goal since i was, like, 16. too bad my kit way back then never got to me. i woulda been had dope ears by now. better late than never.



change of plans
09-05-2024
nevermind. i learned how to make a fabric mod instead. the floor crafting and dropper crafting was something i didn't feel like wrapping my brain around.


"bear, how can you make a mod but not use /execute commands?"


listen. we're not here to question my mental processes.

anywho, there's a great ongoing(?) tutorial series on YouTube right now by Kaupenjoe. i recommend checking it out if you're looking to get into modding. it's also a good idea to have prior knowledge of making resource and datapacks. everything is surprisingly simple.

🔗 find the tutorial series here



learning to make custom mc stuff
09-03-2024
i've known how to make texture packs and datapacks for recipes for a long while now, but i didn't know how to make custom items with recipes for them.

slice of pizza drawingalways thought i'd be cursed with needing to make a mod for custom foodstuffs, but i was wrong! today marks the day i successfully made a custom food datapack for a slice of pizza. this is great because i love custom food in minecraft.

there's a severe lack of variety and i get bored of my food all the time in game. food is a huge part of my preferred experience in games in general, but not a lot of them give me the full of what i want. i want more recipes with more steps and ingredients, man.

it's no matter now. i can make my own ingredients and recipes. what a lovely thing.



finally, something productive
08-31-2024
someone on etsy asked me if i could make one of my phone pack wallpapers into one for iPad a few days ago. strangely, i'd never thought about making sure the same theme worked on a different format outside of a phone, but i liked the idea a lot. unfortunately, i have a healing scratch from my precious boy on my index finger of my drawing hand, so it's made the process awkward.


regardless, i got it done today! i decided i would get through it 'cause i really wanted to see it done. that and i realized that etsy nuked my original ZIP on the phone pack which is why people keep needing me to link it through drive :o|. contacted support about it, but they didn't have a copy. painful.

anywho, i think it looks kinda cute.


i have two or so new pack ideas and i gotta make sure to make them for both phone and tablet this time. hoping to get them done in a reasonable time. my ipad needs a refresh.



ヽ(￣～￣　)ノ
08-07-2024
been working on stuff on and off. i have a habit of not updating unless something is at least 85-90% complete, so there isn't much in terms of updates. power to the people who don't care. balls out updating and fiddling around for everyone to see. i ain't you but you're dope.

i've been super into making unnecessarily small stuff. idk. it's cute and fun. i like playing with limited space.

i made a little 'base portal' thing and changed my new tab to it so that i can have my shortcuts that i need and look at something pleasing. the typical Chrome new tab was boring as all hell.

it's both useful and aesthetically satisfying. at least for now. i haven't added much to it yet, but i'm planning to do something fun with the toybox tab. add some cute pixels. maybe make something interactive for funsies. all 'at.

making personal use html pages is a huge quality of life changer for me. it gives me something to do for a short period of time and a useful new addition to my digital space. i've always messed around making random stuff with html and css, but i've only recently started to do this.

recommended big time if you like side projects to practice your coding and you're not completely satisfied by what there is to offer in terms of websites and programs. having your own curated space is downright enjoyable and enjoyment usually makes daily life at least a little better.



🍰
07-31-2024
i'm not great at keeping up with TV and all 'at, but i managed to watch TIM and Bullet Train. posted a tiny bit about BT on smugbear however long ago, but i haven't written anything on my media page here. gotta get around to that.


i will say that Bullet Train was awesome and fun and i loved it. TIM was.. well. it was a thing i watched. oh, i also finished seasons 1 and 2 of The Bear. gotta gather my extremely mild thoughts.



imagine a title
07-08-2024
days go by so fast. i'm glad the fourth is over. i see more and more people complaining about fireworks nowadays and i'm unfortunately one of them. they're beautiful, no debate about it, but the noise is not something i can deal with anymore. at least not so suddenly. like, i love my action movies with their explosions and horror with all the screaming, but at least i'm aware that that's what i'm getting, y'know?


did anyone else's area start them super early btw? it was only the third when people started poppin' fireworks over here. it feels like holidays in general are becoming more random or dying out.



what the hell
07-03-2024
june was a fucken bust. i don't even know what to say. it went by as smooth as the Flying Dutchman's ship sailing through those damn rocks.

i was so excited to use supporter and do some more stuff here, but uhhhhhh... yeah. worsening relationships with my household and i am broke in such an unholy way. i can't even afford supporter anymore.

i'm not sure if this month is gonna be any better. i did make a little layout that i thought was fun because i'm bored with the default notepad, wordpad, Google Docs, etc.

it's mostly done, but i have a few things i wanted to add later. not too pressed on it right now since it's usable. eventually, i wanna start sharing templates and what not. i have another one made but i'm not too sure about it so i won't share yet :oP

finding neocities has gotten me way more into making little stuff for my use even outside of putting it on a hosted site. it's so awesome popping into notepad++ and throwing something together.



trying out supporter
06-11-2024
BCD have becomed supporter. why? i don't know. the file limitation was getting to me and i'm still a slowly learning geezer about hotlinking. been thinking about at least trying it out for a month to see if i liked/needed it since finding neocities. even if i don't keep it, i don't regret tossing a five-o in the pot. cheers.



groaning noise
06-09-2024
been itchin to fix up my abt me page, but i've unfortunately been dealing with a bout of chronic illness flare-up for what i believe will be going on a second week. luckily, i'm also on the rag, so i can have even less blood in a critical time. very epic. i can't wait to get over this so i can work on BCD more. i had a decent idea for my abt me and other fun expansions.


sorta related: does anyone know how to make a dollmaker with HTML CSS + JS? i've been trying to figure it out for a bit. the art isn't hard, it's the getting it coded part. i've seen click and drag versions, but i'm not a fan since the items don't snap in place. my perfectionism is irked by misalignment. i may have to inspect old Candybar stuff to see how that worked. will take a bit.



the search for a chill game
06-02-2024
finally started playing palia. i'm still getting used to it, but it's alright so far.



must pixel
05-23-2024
been practicing top down pixel art on and off cause i love games where you can customize homes. the furniture is so cute. i wanna make my own content, but i've got a ways to go.

thankfully, there's tons of art to learn from and some tutorials. i think i'm doing a decent job so far, but i'm not perfect. might need to make a guide for myself so i can have some consistency.



the stop button
05-22-2024
you ever finish work and your brain is still movin' a hundred miles per minute? feels like it's on a treadmill, but your body isn't goin' anywhere? i always feel like that after i clock out.

i wouldn't say my job is as difficult as most others. i'm nowhere near whatever people who actually have to leave their homes have to deal with, but i still manage to have trouble switching off. maybe because there's no clear transition. it's one second i'm working, the next i'm not. no real ritual to mark completion aside from documenting my hours.

i can't shake that feeling until i'm asleep, which makes relaxing afterwards a task in itself. never know what to do with myself.

you start to miss how easy it was to back off of non-leisure stuff when you were a kid. finishing homework in record time in order to hop on the computer to play Fantage or some other virtual game. draw something and post on Deviantart back when it was good.

might try to get into meditating again. some mindfulness or somethin' like that.



launching my second mini site
05-19-2024
i just spent all day yesterday less than an hr ago working on a second site. i like my sweet dessert aesthetic here, but i wanted to do something a teensy bit more minimal.


in comes smugbear aka a more minimal take. it's a lot less colourful and the content you see is what you get. just one page, folks. i'm pretty proud of it, especially after spending ages feeling like a zombie wrestling with grid and flexbox.

css is out to get me. i'm sure of it.
if it's broken and everything is actually out of place.....yikes 😸



mfw phone
05-17-2024
having jobs with tech requirements is trash unless you're not basically poor. i have so little money it is laughable for an adult.


woke up with a massive headache due to my allergies. thankfully, i also have two new boxes of Advil PM, so we're gonna be sleepy and slightly less in pain boys.

i checked my work profile and what not, thinkin' i'd get some stuff done today. turns out an app i need is not compatible with my phone anymore. my phone is just too elderly to work with it.

looking at this after just buying my groceries, a lap desk so my laptop could get air and i could sit up properly, a new gas stove so i could cook again after a nice incident that i won't detail, and other necessities... bruh moment. litchrally can't afford it unless i want less than $400 in my bank acc.

i'm hoping they get back to me with some decent news. or at least offer to pay a portion of the cost of a new phone. i don't understand why they wouldn't make the app backwards compatible with older versions considering not everyone and their nan is rockin' an iPhone 15 Pro.

definitely not getting a DS now. was the last post foreshadowing..? i'm fine without one or without other useless objects, but it does suck



the DS dream
05-14-2024
it's always interesting when desires persist. i've wanted a Nintendo DS since a cousin allowed me to use theirs one day at at some family event.

my household was more living room console centric, meaning we had things like the gamecube, playstation, xbox, et cetera. there was no shortage of games for me to play, so i never felt slighted or ungrateful because i didn't own a DS, but the fascination was strong.


2019-20 was when i bought my first DS Lite. it was pink and in wonderful condition. i believe it was a used system from GameStop. the little thing was a ~$50 well spent. i liked it so much that i started writing my own short stories on it, strangely enough.


after a while, i bought a red 2DS and gave the Lite to my younger sisters so they could play Wild World.

the 2DS was something else. i'm drawn to the clamshell design, but the flat block thing was pretty cool. it's cartoony and more toy-like than the others, something i found novel at the time. it came with Mario Kart 7 and i bought Mario and Sonic at The Olypic Games to go with it. sweet lil device. i played Mario Kart obsessively back then.


as is my nature per oldest sibling rules, i passed that one down as well once i got my Switch Lite for New Horizons. it was a grey model that i clawed for since i was shopping during the scalper craze. it was a horrific time i never want to return to.

i stayed up restlessly trying to get a yellow model from the Target website only for my orders to be canceled back to back due to them selling out. my friend at the time snagged me a grey. yellow and coral were the ones i wanted, but i was elated to have a system at all. later on, i swapped the grey for a white eXtremeRate shell with colourful buttons. that was a fun yet frustrating project given i had to do some minor modding ( aka cutting off a piece of a board because the screw was waaay too tight to remove and replacing an internal shoulder button with a cut off piece of clay sprinkle from my decoden phone case because i accidentally broke off the original one from taking the case on and off too many times :oD )


now that it's been a while, i've started up my wanting for another handheld, this time in the form of a DS above the Lite. unfortunately, the prices are well over what i can afford right now. i'm still trying to save to move. after not being able to work effecttively for three months, i'm in a worse spot than before, so buying a nice refurbished or used new 3DS is a far-fetched thought.

even looking into a DSi is well out of my leisure range. one of these devices in an uncleaned and scuffed state is the price of my food cart for the month.

i suppose it'll be a while until i'm able to procure a DSi or new 3DS. i'll wait. even if it's twenty more years from now, i'll be happy to have one eventually.



oh, man
05-12-2024
making a site that's usable to most people is kinda hard. while BCD is made mainly for my use, i want others to be able to navigate it without much issue.

when making the pages, i've had some problems with getting things in the right spot and it has driven me mad because i have no idea what it looks like on other people's devices. i shouldn't worry so much, but i'm an unfortunate perfectionist. i didn't even launch BCD until the home page was done and had actual content instead of Lorem.


my website is definitely not mobile friendly and i'm not sure if it ever will be given that it's more of a pc thing. i think i want a separate mobile specific page eventually.

i hope it looks fine in other browsers and so on. my biggggest problem is my room page. i may need a simplified version of that until i figure out how to properly map the links to the areas in there.



tinker perk
05-09-2024
my laptop is probably my worst enemy right now. my cat comes in second place.
regardless, i still need to use it. so, i decided to open it up and investigate the overheating issue. turns out, there was a big ass chunk of dust beside the fan. the thing looked like a small sponge.

i cleaned the fan itself since there were clumps of dust between the blades and dusted everything else over just to be safe. turned it back on and it turns out removing big sponges of dust from your fan actually works!

the fan blows cool air just like when i first got it. i wanted to play a game to test its cooling out, but i coudn't get a single MWII mission to load. i guess juggling opening COD back and forth and two windows of Chrome + Spotify was decent enough, though. no more overheating from daily tasks.


with that done, i think it's time i find a decent tech repair kit. i made it work with a cheapo screwdriver set, a barely modded plastic knife, some unused kiddy paintbrush, a gift card, and my fingers, but i do not appreciate working with expensive electronics that way. it'll be handier than not, even if i don't use it often.

this is your sign to clean your computer or laptop btw. dust sucks.



actually hell
05-08-2024
being an asthmatic as an adult is just evil. today has got to be trying to end my life. it is so HOT. it's over 86 degrees for no good reason. i've never been the sort to sweat much, so i'm not drenched, but that may be worse. my skin is sticking to itself on contact and my head feels like it is within the vice grip of Star Platinum himself.



i ordered a portable gas stove, like, a week ago and it just came in today. lucky me, i get a box of gas cannisters on a hellishly blazing day instead of the previous days where it was neutral or raining. i'm more than lucky none of it exploded.

when i opened the box, the contents were hotter than the outside. the cans were wrapped in this interesting balloon envelope i've never seen before. hot. the stove was in a plastic case. HOT. was practically burning my fingers to inspect it.

thankfully, everything came in great condition (so far). i can't use it to see if it's okay since it's so [read with obscenely american accent] bloody hot.

the stove is a touch larger than i wanted it to be. the pots i have are pretty small, the one i use the most being only four and a half inches or so wide. it sorta fits. i don't wanna buy another pot T_T. the one i use less definitely fits, but it's just a bit tall for my typical uses. i prefer a smaller thing when i want to quickly make myself a drink.



makin' another layout
05-07-2024


i'm sure you can tell that i've been attempting recreating a minimal pc window theme here and there on my site (like on my about me page). never fully commited to making it look believable because i was more focused on getting the pages set up to use than completing the cosmetics.

with not much to do today/yesterday (the 6th), i decided to give making a proper faux-window a go. i reused some pixels i made for another page and i think it looks pretty darn cute.

still gotta work out the actual icons, some buttons, and linking, but that won't be too hard.



playing acnh again
05-02-2024
as a person who primarily plays games where you hop in and blast enemies or run really fast, games that are more story-heavy and chill don't get nearly as much playtime from me.

animal crossing is another one of those games that i play obsessively for a week then drop for a month or six.

that doesnt mean i don't like it. it's just a little hard for me to be consistent in games where i'm continuing progress. i often forget what i was doing the last time and end up starting over. it's a vicious cycle that usually ends with me never having a solid island (or farm in SDV).


i picked my switch up again and played for the first time in a bit. i find that even though my island isn't anywhere near complete, i love looking at it. just the bit of progress makes me something close to happy.


i went into able sisters and picked out a pretty cute outfit since my character was wearing a bunch of mismatched garbage before. if you're looking to recreate this, you'll need these items: after finding an outfit, i fixed the traffic hazard Isabelle told me about. it took moving a few stalls in my circus tent build and reshaping the front of the build to clear.

as much as i was annoyed by the issue, the tent's shape is somewhat more interesting than it used to be.


now that i think of it, i'm not sure if it looks like a circus tent... anywho, that front part that juts out was way flatter at first. even if it doesn't look like a circus tent from this angle, i think it's super cool. i can't wait til my island is done or nearly there so i can take great pictures.



random writing exercise
04-30-2024
was asking chatGPT why i'm so garbage at writing and he recommended i do some exercises. i'm not really sure where to put this, but i thought it was okay, so here. if it's cringe...well.


Mark & William

     "I know, okay? It's not like I meant for things to go sideways," Mark's voice called from behind William. The latter walked away without so much as a glance back, his stride quickening with each word. He made no effort to clear the path for the workers walking around him, his clenched teeth and lowered brow sending each of them scurrying off down the hall.

     "Whether you planned to screw things up or not is irrelevant." He couldn't believe he was having this conversation, but the stillness of the closed club left no room to mishear. A part of him wished Mark hadn't waited to speak to him. If he had heard those same words while the floor was packed and the music was too loud, maybe he would've been a little less pissed. "The fact is that it happened. End of story."

     "You can't just—"

     William spun around, a sharp glare in his eye as he stared down at his younger brother. He always put their turbulent relationship up to sibling shenanigans, but every dimwitted action the raven-haired fool made during the short operation of their club had set him on the edge. "I can. Don't you tell me what I can and can't do. You're axed. Go home, Mark."

     The younger man straightened up, his lip quivering as he swallowed. "You can't be serious. Will—"

     "What the hell did I just tell you?" William's expression bittered, his lip raising in disgust. To think that this man was his own kin. It would take several glasses to digest it all, but it would have to wait. "Go. You'll receive your last cheque, but you're not coming back here."


y'all... idk what the fuck Mark did, but yeah.




decisions
04-29-2024
making games has been on my mind for as long as i knew it was something that just anyone could do. there's always some new game concept i'm thinking of, but i've never truly committed to getting into learning the code i'd need or how to use this or that game engine.

which one is right for my ideas?

most of the games i think of are similar in style and how they would play. it's always a 2D pixel style, either top-down or platform. so, sonic and mario or games like SDV and pokemon.
i haven't done any extensive research, but after lazily peeking at what's being used, Unity and Godot seem like decent choices. i've read that Godot may be a bit better, though. still not entirely decided.

the biggest thing i'm concerned about is the engine being usable for someone like me. i can't stand overcomplicated UI. if it's too difficult, i'll probably lose motivation quickly. not because i hate stuff that's hard, au contraire, but because i fall out of things very fast.

my cursed brain and productivity aside, if i can get a good startup, things will be okay.



blender is kinda hard
04-25-2024
the more i learn about Blender, the more i seem to forget. i'm retaining some of the knowledge, but i often have to search up info for the same stuff. probably gonna have to start doing some memory exercises regularly at this point, cause i love 3D modeling, but not having a smooth workflow suuucks. :oP

anywho, i'm still making great progress either way. i have to figure out a solid style and start doing more concept drawings soon.



one-use ocs
04-25-2024
do you ever watch, read, or listen to something and suddenly make up an entire OC based on it? appearance, personality, and all? i find myself making so many random characters based on the littlest things. some of them i keep forever while most i make and never use for anything. i think i have a problem.



yeah, i kinda do pixel art
04-24-2024
i wasn't sure what to do with my sitemap thing, but i had this dumb idea to make my 'map' a cute pixel house. 'cause why not, y'know? i spent a while in libresprite working on a top down pixel for my house exterior and interior. after some time i realize...

wait a damn minute, i don't do pixels of houses and furniture.gif of the webmaster recognizing their blunder

yep. i started out pixeling cute people and occasionally animals. i have done art of other stuff, but it was rare. regardless, i decided i wasn't gonna give up on my microproject. i watched a few tutorials and found some cool art for inspiration (totally referenced SDV too). after maybe three tries, i got the house how i wanted and figured out a layout for the living room.

doing this opened my eyes to a big weak spot in my pixel art capabilities. i haven't done serious stuff in such a long time, but i've been getting inspired all over again by old Fantage stuff, so i think i'm gonna put more time in practicing. i still have to get a little art section carved out in here, but that may take a bit since i'm not entirely sure how i want it to look.

p.s. get aesprite here if you wanna support 'em! libresprite is cool, but it may not have all of the features that ase does.



bcd: the everlasting project
04-18-2024
that may be a dramatic title, but every other second i'm thinking of something to do to this site. it is by no means perfect or halfway there, and that's what i love about it.

cute red heart flowers gifi've made a few blog pages so far and i want to link them without adding more buttons to my sidebar, meaning i'll likely need a sitemap. how cool is that? one thing needs another thing. this site is straight up feeding my project cravings. as a creative who jumps from project-to-project and goes at my interests with an obsessive edge, i'm very much reveling in this development. :o]



back to it
04-17-2024
it's definitely weird to be blogging again. it's not necessarily like how it was with wordpress, but i guess this still counts :oB

doing my own coding with each post is also interesting. i'm more used to the typical blogging sites where you get to see everything all fancy-like from the jump. i'm probably gonna fumble my formatting here and there, but it's all a part of the process.

sorry if my site is messed up btw >_<


my first post
04-17-2024
it's a 3D cake slicei've been working on this site on and off for the past week or two and it's been a blast. i've re-learned a lot of html and css throughout this little project. i'm still kinda bad at it, but i'll get better eventually.

there's a ton to do. so much that i probably need a to-do list somewhere = n =). like, i gotta add a page for credits and resource links, put in a place for my art, another blog for more specified topics, some offsite stuff, etc...

well, guess that's what i signed up for. it's nice to have stuff to focus on, even if it is a lot to do.